NO PLAYS EXCHANGED. ^^^ 



«,s 




Look Out For Paint 



Price, 25 Cents 



^^'^ 




O/jr r? .^s, 






COPYRIGHT, 1889, BY WALTER H. BAKER & CO. 



B. lU* Pitiero's Plays 

Price, SO eent$ €acb 



THF AMA7nN^ Farce in Three Acts. Seven males, five fe- 
iriCi i\.lili\£t\Ji%u males. Costumes, modern; scenery, not 
difficult. Plays a full evening. 

TII17 TAHIMPT MIIUKTCD Farce in Four Acts. Ten 
Int. LADlPl£.i iVilillOlLK males, nine females. Cos 
tumes, modern society; scenery, three interiors. Plays a full evening- 

HANFlY niPK" ^3,rce in Three Acts. Seven males, four fe- 
Ui\nU 1 l/l\^IV, males. Costumes, modern ; scenery, two inte- 
riors. Plays two hours and a half. 

TUF r* AV I nPn niirY comedy in Four Acts. Four males, 
inCi UAl LVfRU KIVLmA. ten females. Costumes, modern ; 
scenery, two interiors and an exterior. Plays a full evening. 

UfC UATTCr TKT HDnri? Comedy in Four Acts. Nine males, 
IllO ni/Ui3£i 111 UAUEilV four females. Costumes, modern; 
scenery, three interiors. Plays a full evening. 

TUV UnilDV UriDCr comedy in Three Acts. Ten males, 
ini!i nUDDI nUlViJE. Ave females. Costumes, modern; 
scenery easy. Plays two hours and a half. 

IPIQ Drama in Five Acts. Seven males, seven females. Costumes, 
lIVlO modern ; scenery, three interiors. Plays a full evening. 

I AnV RniTNTIFITI Play in Four Acts. Eight males, seven 
LiAUl DV/UlilirULi females. Costumes, modern; scen- 
ery, four interiors, not easy. Plays a full evening. 

I I7TTV I>rama in Four Acts and an Epilogue. Ten males, five 
LiEil 1 I females. Costumes, modern; scenery complicated. 
Plays a full evening. 

TUP MAPICTD ATI? Farce in Three Acts. Twelve males, 
illl!i IViAviliJ 1 IV/\ 1 El four females. Costumes, modern; 
scenery, all interior. Plays two hours and a half. 



Sent prepaid on receipt' of price by 

Walttv H. pafeer & Companp 

No. 5 Hamilton Place, Boston, Massachusetts 



Look Out For Paint 



A Farce Comedy in Three Acts 



By 
CORNELIUS SHEA 



BOSTON 

WALTER H. BAKER & CO. 

1912 



c. Lo,f 



Look Out For Paint 



CHARACTERS 



[As originally produced (71 Totienville, N. K, yune g, iQ^i-) 
Hiram Rodney, owner of " High Up 

Farm " '"cij^.' , • \ * 
Percy HE^IiTiJCHE, an "' artist, in love 

with Rodney s daughter Helen 
Hickory Homespun, a bashful farmer, 

who is well to do . . . . . 
Trot WELL Roamer, a tramp, who is a 

painter by trade .... 

Bill, a big, good-natured boy who does 

the chores ...... 

Susan Rodney, the farmer s wife 
Helen Rodney, the farmer s daughter . 
Hattie Renwick, a stenographer from the 

city, past thirty and anxious to wed . 
Lucinda Wheatchaff, a widow in love 

with Hickory Homespun 



Mr. Frank J. Dolan, 

Mr. Benjamin B. Cole. 

Mr J. J. Malle. 

Mr. Edward Johnson. 

Mr. Arthur Parsons, 
Miss Cecilia Stern. 
Miss Lena S. Hoehn. 

Miss Marvel Matthes. 

Mrs. Willis Larkin. 



Time : — The present. Locality : — A farm in the upper part 
of New York State. 

Time of performance, one hour and a half, 

\ 




Copyright, 191 2, by Walter H. Baker & Co, 



/ 



C(.D 31175 



SYNOPSIS 

Act I. — Dining-room at " High Up Farm." The arrival of the 
boarder from the city. The two letters. The farmer decides to 
have his sailboat painted, since the summer boarders have begun 
to come. 

Act II. — Lawn at " High Up Farm." Heartache is much per- 
plexed. Helen helps him fix it. The tramp. The plot. Hattie 
is surprised. " He has disguised himself to test the depths of my 
devotion." The tramp tries to escape. 

Act III. — Same as Act II. An embarrassing mistake. " Look 
out for paint." Miss Renwick decides that she don't want a 
husband. The widow wins. Bill settles it all. 



COSTUMES 

It will be necessary for Hattie and Helen to change. Hattie 
is to be stylishly gowned in summer apparel when she enters in 
first act. Helen to fit the occasion, as a farmer's daughter when 
at work about the house, and also "dressed up" to receive vis- 
itors. Bill in ridiculous make-up and big straw hat. Percy in 
rather dudish style. Roamer in ragged coat and overalls. 
Hiram as a farmer at work. Hickory "dressed up" a little- 
Lucinda as a widow just discarding her weeds. Susan with 
apron, etc. 

PROPERTIES 

Churn, table, chairs, benches, etc., broom, feather duster and 
ordinary furnishings for common sitting-room ; table is set on lawn 
during intermission between second and third acts Sign, " Cow 
for Sale." Two paint cans, with brushes. 



Look Out for Paint 



ACT I 

SCENE. — Sitting-room of the ^' High Up Farmhouse.^* 

Enter Hiram Rodney, drying hands with big, coarse towel. 

Hiram. So it's city boarders we're going to have, eh? 
An' one is comin' to-day ! Well, I don't think a whole lot of 
this pesky business, but Susan got it in her head to take 'em, 
so I s'pose she's got to have her way about it. Women-folks 
generally does have their own way, anyhow. I know Susan 
does; she always has, too. But it's all right. A little cash 
money from boarders will come in mighty handy, I calculate. 
It's been so dry that it looks as though the corn crop is going 

to be a rank failure. An' the hay ( Voices and laughter 

outside.) Hello! What's this? Bill has brought the new 
boarder over from the depot, I s'pose. (^Goes to door ate.) 
Yes, sure enough, she's come. My ! but ain't she dressed up ! 
Paint an' powder on her face, too ! An' Bill is luggin' in her 
trunk. 

Enter Bill, carrying trunk, followed by Hattie Renwick. 

Bill. Here we are, Mr. Rodney. I found her all right. 
Ain't she a stunner? I'll bet that dress an' hat of hers cost 
more'n five dollars, bergosh ! Ain't she 

Hiram. Shet up, you fool ! Don't you know how to act 
when we've got company? 

Hat. (graciously). Oh, don't mind him. I think Bill is 
just too cute for anything. He is so witty in his conversation 
that I just enjoyed myself riding over from the depot. {Laughs 
lightly and glances killingly at Bill, who curtsies and then 
struts aroufid like a peacock.) So this is High Up Farm, I 
suppose ? 

Hiram. Yes, miss, that's just what it is. Be you Miss 
Hattie Renwick, the new boarder ? 



6 LOOK OUT FOR PAINT 

Hat. Yes, that is who I am, sir. I suppose you are Mr. 
Rodney ? 

Hiram. That's me. I'm the boss of this here place- 
when Susan ain't around, I mean. (^Footsteps at l.) Here 
she comes now. She'll look after you all right, miss. Susan 
knows her business. 

Enter Susan Rodney, from kitchen at l. 

Hat. Mrs. Rodney, I presume? 

Susan {bowing and smiling). Yes, that's who I be. You 
are the young lady come here to board, I take it ? 

Hiram. That's who she is, Susan. Jest look after her, will 
you? {To Bill.) Take that trunk up-stairs, Bill, an' hurry 
up about it. I've got to send you back to the village before 
you unhitch the mare. I wanted you to do an errand for me, 
but you went off without me knowin' it. Hurry up now. 

Bill. All right. I'll git this here trunk up-stairs in a jiffy. 
{Tries to lift trunk and falls over it.) Gosh ! I missed my 
hold that time. {To Hat.) Say, miss, there ain't no crockery 
in this, is there ? 

Hat. {laughing). No crockery. Bill. 

Bill. All right, then. 

(Hiram helps him and the two exeunt with trunk at r.) 

Hat. {looking about room and breathing a sigh of relief ). 
What a relief to get out of the crowded, dusty city. I am so 
glad I am here. 

Susan. You ought to be, Miss Renwick. There is noth- 
ing like the dear old country, after all. Shall I show you to 
your room ? 

Hat. If you please, Mrs. Rodney. 

Enter Hiram and Bill, r. Exeunt Susan and Hat., r. 

Hiram. Now, Bill, I want you to drive over to the village 
and tell Jim Styles to send a man over here to paint ther boat 
just as soon as he kin. Since we're goin' ter have boarders, 
we've got to have the boat so they kin use it on the lake. Tell 
him it's white paint for the outside an' yaller inside. Don't 
you forgit, Bill. 

Bill. I won't. But I'll have to bring in an armful of wood 
first. I seen there wasn't any in ther wood-box when I come 
in. 



LOOK OUT FOR PAINT 7 

Hiram. Mighty thoughtful of you all at once. 
Bill. Say ! but ain't the new boarder a daisy? 

{Laughs uproariously,') 

Hiram. Pshaw ! You don't think that city gal would take 
any notice of you, do yer ? 

Bill. I don't, eh? That's as much as you know about it. 
Why, she told me 1 was a fine specimen of a healthy young 
farmer. {Draws himself up proudly.^ An' she give me a dig 
in ther ribs, too. She's a reg'lar peach ! {Laughs loudly again.) 

Hiram. You're a born fool. Bill, an' you don't know it. 
That gal was jest makin' fun of yer, that's all. 

\_Exeunt Hiram and Bill. 

Enter Helen Rodney, with hunch of flowers in her hand. 

Hel. I see the buggy outside, so I suppose our boarder has 
arrived. I wonder how she looks? She wrote that she is a 
stenographer in New York, and the letter was typewritten, too. 
By the way it read, she must be very much of a lady. Well, 
as there is no one here now, I'll take my chance to write a note 
to Percy. I know mother won't object, so I'll invite him over 
to take tea with us to-morrow afternoon. Percy is just too 
sweet for anything ; and he is an artist, too ! I hope the new 
boarder is not good-looking, so there will be no danger of her 
cutting me out. {Opens drawer in stand and takes out paper ^ 
pen and ink and writes.) There ! {Holds up note she has 
written.) That is rather brief, but it will answer the purpose, 
I know. Percy will be delighted to come, too. When mother 
and father see him and get acquainted with him they won't 
mind if he comes often, I am sure. {Reads.) "Dear Percy, 
come over to-morrow afternoon and take tea with us. Pa 
and ma will be pleased to see you. Yours lovingly, H. R." 
{Places paper in envelope and addresses it. Bill is heard 
whistling outside.) Here, Bill, I want you. Hurry up. 

(Bill enters on a run and stumbles, throwing an armful of 
wood on the floor.) 

Bill {on his hands and knees). What do yer want, Helen? 

Hel. Get up, stupid. I want you to take this letter to the 
post-office some time to-day. 

Bill {taking letter). All right, Helen. I've got to go to 
ther village right away, an' I'll mail ther letter for yer. 



8 LOOK OUT FOR PAINT 

Hel. Well, see that you don't lose it. Here is ten cents 
for you. 

Bill. Hooray I I'll buy a mouth-organ now. Then I'll 
make some mew-sick around High Up Farm, see if I don't. 
Helen, you never heard me play a mouth-organ, did yer ? 

Hel. No ; and I don't wish to hear you, either. Just pick 
up that wood and be off with you. 

Bill (^gathering up the sticks of wood^. All right, Helen. 
I forgot to thank you for this dime. 

{Puts coin in mouth and then goes off l.) 

{Exit Hel., c. Enter Hat., r.) 

Hat. Oh ! Here is pen, ink and paper. Just what I 
want. I wonder if I could get that simple fellow, Bill, to go 
over to the post-office ? I must let Percy know I am here. 
Won't he be surprised ! What a romance, indeed. We have 
never seen each other, nor even exchanged photographs, but I 
am sure he loves me, or he would never have answered my 
second letter after reading my advertisement in a matrimonial 
paper. When I found High Up Farm was so near the village 
he is stopping in I could not make arrangements to come here 
quickly enough. How delightful 1 How romantic ! I'll just 
write him a few words to let him know I am here. I will ask 
him to come over to-morrow afternoon. Just think of it ! 
How romantic it will be ! I am sure I will know him, for I 
can imagine just how he looks from his letters. And he is an 
artist, too. Very, very romantic! {Sits down and writes.') 
There! I think this will do. {Reads.') "Dear Percy: I 
have just arrived at High Up Farm and will be pleased to meet 
you here to-morrow afternoon. I know how surprised you will 
be when you read this, and feel sure that when you see me you 
will not be sorry you answered my matrimonial advertisement, 
which was really inserted more in a spirit of mischief than any- 
thing else. Yours, lovingly, H. R." {To audience.) That 
ought to land him, if anything will. Since I have decided to 
get married, I must go the limit. I must land this handsome 
young artist — I know he must be handsome, for artists always 
are — and I will surely look my best to morrow afternoon. I 
wonder where that big booby, Bill, is? (Bill heard whistling 
outside.) Oh ! there he is now. {Walks to L.) Come here. 
Bill; I want you. 



LOOK OUT FOR PAINT 9 

Enter Bill, whip in hand. 

Bill. What do you want, miss ? 

Hat. When are you going over to the village again ? 

Bill. Right now. Kin I do anything for yer? 

Hat. {sealing note in envelope'). Yes; take this letter to 
the post-office for me. ( Writes address on envelope.) 

Bill. All right, Miss Daisy; I'll do it for yer. 

Hat. My name isn't Daisy. 

Bill. Well, you're a daisy, jest ther same. 

Hat. {laughing). Do you think so, Bill ? 

Bill. I don't think so; I know it, bergosh ! 

Hat. None of that, Bill. I know you don't mean a word 
of what you say. You are just like the rest of the men. 

Bill {pulling up trousers and strutting about with chest 
thrown out). Rest of ther men, eh ? Well, I always thought 
I was nothin' but a boy yet. But if you say I'm a man, I must 
be, Daisy. 

Hat. {handing him letter and piece of money). Here is a 
quarter for you. Take the letter and be sure and mail it. 
That's a good boy. 

Bill {startittg toward i..). Boy, eh? A minute ago I was 
a man. Well, that's jest like ther wimmen-folks. They say 
one thing an' mean another. 

( Laughs loudly and goes off l. Hat. goes off c.) 

Enter Susan, r. 

Susan. Now I suppose I must get dinner ready. The new 
boarder is most likely hungry, an' I want her to be satisfied. 
Six dollars a week ain't to be sneezed at these times. 

{Starts for l., when Hel. enters.) 

Hel. Mother, I have asked a young man to come over 
and take tea with us to-morrow. You don't object, do you ? 

Susan. Young man? You mean that painter you've talked 
so much about in the last week or two, I s'pose? 

Hel. Not painter, mother. He is an artist. 

Susan. Well, ain't a painter an artist? I call him a 
painter, an' I don't think he amounts to much, though I ain't 
never set eyes on him. 

Hel. {taking Susan's face in her hands). Oh, mother, 



10 LOOK OUT FOR PAINT 

you will surely change your opinion when you see him once. 
He is just too sweet for anything. He is very wealthy, too, 
and I happen to know that he has more than an ordinary fond- 
ness for me. 

Susan {disengaging herself from Hel.), All girls are 
alike at your age. Well, let him come, if he wants to. I was 
thinking of inviting the widow over to-morrow afternoon, so 
Miss Ren wick would have company. Most likely she'll find it 
rather lonesome here at first. Hick Homespun told your father 
he was coming over to look at the brindle cow which is for sale, 
to-morrow afternoon, so it will just come in fine. The widow 
has set her cap for Hick, an' I've made up my mind to help 
her along all I can. Yes. Let the painter come over, an' we'll 
have a httle party. 

Hel. And we won't say anything about it to father, or 
the boarder, mother. Let's make it a surprise party, as far as 
they are concerned. 

Susan. Very well, Helen. I was goin' to tell your father, 
but if you want him surprised it's all right. 

Hel. Where is the new boarder, mother? I haven't 
seen her yet. 

Susan. She is up in her room. She seems to be a very 
nice girl. 

Hel. Is she good-looking ? 

Susan. Very. She reminds me of one of them pictures you 
see in the fashion books. (Starts.) I hear her commg down- 
stairs now. I'll introduce you right away. 

Enter Hat., r. 

Hat. Has Bill gone yet, Mrs. Rodney? I have just dis- 
covered that I failed to bring my tooth powder with me, and 
if there is a drug store at the village I want him to get me 
some. 

Susan. I'll see if Bill has gone yet. Miss Renwick. {Goes 
to door at c, and looks out.) There ! he is going now. Hey, 
Bill! Come back here. You're wanted. {Comes back.) 
Miss Renwick, let me make you acquainted with my daughter 
Helen. 

(Hel., who has been studying the new boarder y advances 
a step and bows.^ 

Hat. I am very glad to meet her, I am sure. How do you 
do, Miss Rodney? {They shake hands. ^ 



LOOK OUT FOR PAINT II 

Hel. I am quile well, I thank you. I hope you will like 
it here at High Up Farm. 

Hat. I hope so ; but it does seem rather slow here at the 
start. You see, I am so used to the gay life of the city, with 
the theatre parties every night or two, and the receptions and 
balls. It is so different in the country. But I will get used to 
it, I know. 

Hel. Miss Ren wick, do stenographers have such enjoy- 
ment in the city ? They must draw large salaries. 

Hat. Oh, they do. But of course they don't use their own 
money for such pleasures. The fellows attend to that part of 
it — young men interested in Wall Street, and the like, you 
know. 

Hel. Oh, I see. It must be delightful to live in the city 
and be a stenographer. 

Enter Bill hurriedly from c. 

Bill. What do yer want, Missus Rodney? You jest 
stopped me in time. If I hadn't waited to fix ther mare's 
traces you wouldn't have got me. 

Hat. {smiling graciously). It is I who want you, Bill. 

Bill. Oh, it's you, eh, Daisy ? 

Hat. What did I tell you about calling me Daisy ? 

Bill. Excuse me. I'll change it an' call you Peach, then. 

Hat. Stop your nonsense, Bill. {Takes money from purse 
and hands it to him.) There! Stop at the drug store and 
get me a box of tooth powder. If you can't get powder, get 
paste. 

Bill. An' if I can't git paste I'll git a bottle of mucilage. 

Hel. The idea. Bill ! Mucilage ! People don't use 
such stuff as that to clean their teeth. 

Bill. If they was false it would be good to stick 'em to 
ther gums. 

Hat. {sharply). Bill, I want you to understand that my 
teeth are all my own. 

Bill. Of course, Daisy — I mean Peach. Whose would they 
be? If you've got false ones most likely you paid for 'em. 
Whose would they be? {Goes to door at c, laughing.) But 
all right. Peach. I'll git ther tooth powder for yer. I won't 
forgit. I'm goin' to buy a set of clappers with that quarter you 
give fne afore. Then, with a new mouth-organ an' ther clap- 
pers, i! ere'll be a regular band of music around High Up Farm. 

\_Exit, 



12 LOOK OUT FOR PAINT 

Hel. Mother, that boy is getting to be a regular nuisance. 
The idea of him speaking that way to a stranger ! 

Hat. Oh ! I don't mind him, Miss Rodney. Bill isn't 
exactly all right. I noticed that when he met me at the depot. 
He means no offense, I am sure. His comical actions and re- 
marks help take away the dullness. Bill is all right. 

Susan, Well, we've had him ever since he was about ten 
years old, an' he's always been pretty faithful. I s'pose he 
can't help it if he's a little loose in his upper story. Most 
likely he was born that way. 

Hel. Quite likely, mother. 

Hat. {sittiftg down). Miss Helen, are there many good- 
looking young farmers around here ? 

Hel. There are plenty of young men in the neighbor- 
hood, Miss Renwick. But as to their good looks, 1 suppose you 
would be better able to judge than I. You reside in the city, 
and I presume you see so many handsome young men that you 
would not think much of those you will meet here in the coun- 
try. As for myself, I don't care a great deal for farmers. 

Susan. Shame on you, Helen ! You, a farmer's daughter, 
talkin' like that. 

Hel. I can't help it, mother; just because I was born 
on a farm don't say that I should be a farmer's wife. 

Hat. Why, I think that would be delightful, provided the 
husband could give his wife all she wanted. Plenty of fine 
dresses, a horse and carriage, and a nice automobile. Farmers 
usually are very wealthy, I have heard. 

Susan. Well, there ain't many rich ones around here. Miss 
Renwick. About the only one anywhere around here who's 
got plenty of money is Hick Homespun, an' his father left it to 
him. Hick never earned it, though he does know pretty well 
how to keep it. 

Hat. Hick Homespun ! What a funny name, Mrs. 
Rodney. 

Susan. Yes, it is a sorter old-fashioned name. But Hick 
is all right, just the same. 

Hel. His given name is Hickory, but every one calls 
him Hick, for short. 

Hat. Is he married ? 

Hel. No, he is a bachelor farmer. 

Susan. But he ain't likely to remain a bachelor very long. 
Lucinda Wheatchaff, the widow, has set her cap for him. She'll 
catch him, too, for Lucinda has very winnin' ways. She made 



LOOK OUT FOR PAINT I3 

up her mind to get Hank Wheatchaff, an' she jest went ahead 
an' got him. But Hank didn't live more'n a year, an' when 
he died he left the widow a nice little farm an' a few thousands 
in cash. Lucinda will win Hick all right, though he's an awful 

bashful man. She'll {Kfiock at door c.) As I live ! I 

believe that's the widow now. I always know her knock. 
{^Calls out.) Come in. 

Enter Lucinda Wheatchaff. 

Luc. Hello, everybody! Isn't this a lovely day? {Sees 
Hat.) Oh ! excuse me, Mrs. Rodney. I wasn't aware that 
you had company. 

Susan {introducing them). Mrs. Wheatchaff, this is our 
new boarder. Miss Renwick, of New York. 

Luc. How do you do. Miss Renwick ? We country folks 
are always glad to meet city folks. 

Hat. {graciously). It gives me great pleasure to make your 
acquaintance, Mrs. Wheatchaff. 

{They shake hands , the widow very demonstrative.) 

Hel. Lucinda, I was just telling Miss Renwick about 
Hick. She wanted to know if there were any nice young men 
around here. 

Luc. Oh, she wanted to know that, eh ? {Sizes up Hat. 
critically, and then gives a sniff.) Well, I hardly think Hick 
Homespun would suit her. Hick has got an awful objection 
to paint and powder, too. He wouldn't be apt to take to Miss 
Renwick. 

Hat. {with sweet sarcasm). Indeed ! Mrs. Wheatchaff, 
you are very blunt in your way of speaking, I see. But if the 
gentleman referred to objects to paint and powder, how do you 
ever expect to win him ? 

Luc. {holding up her hands in surprise). Me? As if I 
wanted another man ! I've had one, and I am sure that is 
enough. {Picks up her parasol and walks about indignantly .) 
But say! {Pauses before Hat. and shakes parasol at her.) 
If you think you can get Hick Homespun to take any notice of 
you, go ahead. I'm sure it is nothing to me. But I don't be- 
lieve 

{Loud noise outside, and Hiram enters in great excitement.) 

Hiram. Susan, get the gun — quick ! There's a big 



14 LOOK OUT FOR PAINT 

chicken-hawk after the old dominick hen an' her chickens. 
Hurry, Susan ! 

{Exit Susan hurriedly at r. Hel. grabs a feather duster. 
Hat. seizes broom which Susan has left itt a corner of the 
room, and Luc. waves her parasol. Susan enters r. 
with gun. Then Hiram grabs the gun and all rush out 
excitedly. Report of gun is heard.^ 



QUICK CURTAIN 



ACT II 

SCENE.^Zawn of the ''High Up Farmhouse ^ Day later. 
A few chairs and benches scattered about. Churn near side 
of house. Sign: ** Cow for sale^^ on tree. 

Enter Percy Heartache, l. 

Percy (^perplexed). Well, this is a great state of affairs. I 
don't know how I am to get out of the mess I am in. Who 
would ever have dreamed of such a thing as that girl I corre- 
sponded with through the foolish matrimonial advertisement 
would be here? Why, I never saw her, and I only answered 
her letters for fun. The idea of her going so far as to come 
here to board ! It is ridiculous. But to make matters worse 
{shaking his head sadly) Helen sends me an invitation to 
come over this afternoon and get acquainted with her parents. 
The two letters arrived at the same time, and both bear the 
same initials. {Takes letters from pocket and again shakes his 
head.') Well {bracing up)^ I made up my mind to come here 
and make a clean breast of it to Helen, and I came an hour 
earlier, so I might learn my fate as soon as possible. I wish I 
could see her without going to the house. Ah ! here she comes 
now, as I live ! 

Enter Hel., r. Hurries to the churn and starts churning. 

Hel. Oh, dear ! I wish the butter would come. ( Churns 
vigorously.) I won't have time to dress before Percy gets 
here. The dear fellow. I know he will surely come. 

(Percy brightens up and steps softly toward her. Hel. 
has her back to him and has not seen him.) 

Percy. Ahem ! 

Hel. \5tops churning and turns). Oh ! is it you, Mr. 
Heartache ? 

Percy. Yes, Miss Rodney. I came over a little early, be- 
cause I have something to say to you. It is of a rather serious 
nature, and has been worrying me ever since I went to the 
post-ofSce last night, ( Walks to l.) 

IS 



l6 LOOK OUT FOR PAINT 

Hel. (aside). Gracious ! It can't be that he is going to 
propose. {Walks toward Percy.) What is it, Mr. Heart- 
ache? Perhaps 1 might be able to advise you. 

Percy {brightening up). I am sure you can, Helen — I 
mean Miss Rodney. 1 surely am in a bad fix. But sit down 
here and I'll tell you all about it. 

{They sit upon bench near c.) 

Hel. Go on and tell me. I am sure your troubles cannot 
be very great. 

Percy. Wait until you have heard. Helen — excuse me 
for calling you Helen 

Hel. Certainly. To be even with you, I shall call you 
Percy. 

Percy. I like that. But let me tell my story. Perhaps 
after you have heard it you won't want to ever see me again. 

Hel. Is it so serious as all that? 

Percy. It surely is. Helen, a month or so ago I was fool- 
ish enough to answer an advertisement in a matrimonial paper. 
I did it just for the fun of the thing, you know. 

Hel. I did the same thing once. A bachelor, whose chief 
drawing points were that he was bald-headed and had a fortune, 
advertised that he wished to correspond with a charming coun- 
try girl who was matrimonially inclined, and I wrote to him. 

Percy. Ah ! is that so ? 

Hel. Yes ; but there was no harm in it, was there ? 

Percy. Certainly not. How many letters did you write to 
him ? 

Hel. Only one. I did not answer the one I received in 
reply, for it seemed as though he meant business, and what 
did I want of an old bald-headed man, even if he was rich? 

Percy. Of course you didn't want him. But to be real 
serious, Helen. The fix I am in at present is all through an- 
swering an advertisement in a matrimonial paper. I wrote to 
the young lady twice, and it seems that she took it altogether 
too seriously. The fact is, Helen, that she is here, and she 
has invited me to call at your father's house this afternoon. 

Hel. {rising excitedly). What do you mean ? 

Percy. Just what I say. Haven't you a young lady stop- 
ping here? 

Hel. Why — er — yes. But 

Percy. Isn't her name Hattie Ren wick? 

Hel. {completely amazed). Yes, that is her name. 



LOOK. OUT FOR PAINT I7 

\ Percy. Read this note and you will understand it all. 
\Hands her Hattie's fioie.) I hope you will forgive me, 
Helen. 1 will never do such a foolish thing again as long as I 
l\ve. 

j Hel. {reading note aloud). Well, I declare ! If this isn't 
a| remarkable coincidence. Why, she must have sent this to 
the post-office with Bill when I sent mine yesterday. 

Percy. I received the two invitations at the same time. 
Imagine my surprise, and my feelings, too, when 1 read them. 

Hel. Well, I am not a bit jealous of her, Percy. I con- 
sider this a great joke, indeed I do. 

Percy. Oh, do you? You are not angry, then ? 

Hel. Angry ? No. But say, Percy, if you could only 
get some one to come here and represent himself to be Percy 
Heartache, what a joke it would be ! Miss Renwick is an old 
maid, and the way she paints her face is disgusting. Imagine 
her wanting to marry a handsome young artist ! Why, she is 
artist enough herself. 

{Laughs lightly J and Percy, much relieved, joins in,) 

Percy. I wish I knew how to get out of this. Your sug- 
gestion is a good one, but who could I get to represent himself 
to be me ? I suppose I might go back to the village and find 
some one, though. 

Hel. {eagerly). Do it, Percy. You can find somebody who 
would do it just for the fun of it. I will tell mother about it. 
Here she comes now. 

Enter Susan, r. 

Susan. Why, Helen, have you given up the churning? 
Oh ! you have a visitor, I see. {Smiles and approaches.) 

Hel. Yes, mother, let me introduce you to Mr. Heartache. 
He is the young man I spoke to you about — the artist, you 
know. 

Susan. So he is the painter, eh? How do you do, Mr. 
Heartache ? 

Percy. Quite well, thank you. (^Bows, and then Susan 
extends hand. Percy accepts it and they shake cordially.) 
You have a beautiful place here, Mrs. Rodney. High Up 
Farm is well named. The land is very high and level here 
and the pure air is simply delightful. The scenery is grand, 
too, and 1 mean to make some sketches of it, if I receive per- 
mission to do so. 



l8 LOOK OUT FOR PAINT 

Susan. You mean to paint pictures of the trees and such. 

Percy. Yes, that is it. 

Hel. Mother, what do you think Hattie Renwick came to 
board with us for? 

Susan {surprised). Why, I don't know, unless it was to 
get away from the city for a while and enjoy herself in the 
fresh country air. What do you mean, Helen ? 

Hel. Well, I'll tell you, mother. She came here so she 
could get acquainted with Mr. Heartache. It seems that he 
answered a matrimonial advertisement she inserted in some 
paper, and when she answered him he wrote again, giving his 
address at the village. She discovered that our farm was right 
near the village, so she came here. Percy — I mean Mr. Heart- 
ache — never saw Miss Renwick, and he cares nothing for her, 
whatever. She had the audacity to 

Susan. Why, Helen, what do you mean ? 

Hel. Listen, mother. Let me finish. She had the au- 
dacity to send Mr. Heartache a note, inviting him here to-day. 
I invited him, too, as you are aware. Now, he does not want 
to let the brazen old maid know who he is, and we were just 
talking and trying to think of some way to play a joke on her. 

Susan. Weil, if that is why she came to High Up Farm I 
think she ought to have a joke played on her. I have a notion 
to go right now and tell her what I think of her. 

Hel. Don't do it, mother. She is getting along in years, 
and she no doubt wants to get a husband so badly that she can 
be excused. What we want you to do is to help us in this. It 
will only be a little harmless fun, and Percy will be spared 
the scene that would surely follow if she met him, thinking he 
had come here for the purpose of meeting her. Percy is going 
to the village and will try to get some one to impersonate him. 
Of course it will not be a good-looking young man he will get, 
either, and there is where the fun will come in. Now, mother, 
do help us out, won't you ? 

Susan {shaking her head, as though in douht^. I don't like 
this kind of business, Helen. But since Mr. Heartache seems 
to be such a nice young man, an' he is a painter, besides, I'll 
do as you want me to. The idea of Miss Renwick comin' here 
for the purpose of tryin' to catch a husband ! 

Hef,. Oh, mother, I am so glad. Now, then, if a man 
comes here and is introduced as Mr. Percy Heartache, you will 
know what to do. 

Susan. Yes ; I'll call Miss Renwick right away. 



LOOK OUT FOR PAINT I9 

\ Enter Trotwell Roamer, l. 

Roam. Is this the High Up Farm ? 

Susan. Yes; what do you want ? 

Roam, {setting down paint pots and brushes). I'm the 
painter. 

Susan {looking at Percy). The painter ? 

Roam. Yes, ray boss sent me over here to paint a boat for 

Mr. Rodney. 

Susan } ,. . >. ^, , 
TT \ {tn unison). Oh I 

Percy {smiling at the two). I think this man might fill the 
bill. Shall I ask him ? 

Hel. {eagerly). Yes, ask him, Percy. I am sure he 
would be just the one. He is a painter, too. Think of 
it! {Laughs,) 

Roam. Well, maybe I am an artist, then. Does that sound 
any better ? 

Hel. Much better, sir. You'll surely do. 

Roam. Oh ! I'll paint the boat, all right. Where is she ? 

Hel. In the house. But you don't want to see her yet. 
Wait until you understand what we want you to do. 

(Susan goes to churn and begins churning.) 

Roam, {looking at Percy). What's all this, anyhow ? You 
ain't tryin' to jolly me, are you ? 

Percy. Not a bit, my friend. See here ! Do you want to 
earn five dollars ? 

Roam. Do I ? Don't I look as though I did ? Why, I've 
been trampin' for three weeks without findin' a job. I hit the 
village over here last night an' happened to land with Styles, 
the boss painter. This morning he found out that I was all 
right, so he sent me over here to paint a boat. But I didn't 
think the boat was in the house. {Looks at Hel.) 

Hel. The boat isn't in the house. Percy, go on and tell 
him. 

Percy. Mr. What's- Your-Name 

Roam. Trotwell Roamer is my name, boss. 

Percy. Well, Mr. Trotwell Roamer, there is a young lady 
in the house who is expecting a call from a young man she has 
never seen. She is looking for a husband, and she will no 
doubt be dead struck on you, if you take the part. 

Roam. {looki?ig at his overalls and ragged coat and laugh- 



20 LOOK OUT FOR PAINT 

ing). Well, I don't know why she wouldn't be, boss. But go 
ahead with your game. Let me see the color of that five-spot 
first. Then I'll feel more like listenin' to you. 

Y^\\<z\ {producing a five-dollar bill). There you are. Now, 
then, is it a go? 

Roam. You bet it is. But say ! there ain't no danger of a 
breach of promise suit in this, is there ? 

Percy (Jaughing'). I hardly think so. Now, to be brief 
about it, all you have got to do is to say that you are Percy 
Heartache, the artist. You can say it to any one you meet, for 
that matter. But the young lady — Hattie Renwick is her 
name — 'is the party the joke is to be on. She has been corre- 
sponding with you, you know, and has thrown out her net to 
catch you for a husband. Do you understand ? 

Roam, {shaking his head). Putty well, boss. I'm Percy 
Heartache, the artist, an* she's tryin' to nail me for a husband. 
Yes, that's all right. 

Percy. Well, take this note, then. It will help you out, I 
think. 

{^Hands him Hat.'s note. Roam, reads it and nods ap- 
provingly.') 

Roam. I guess I can fill the bill, boss. Leave it to me. 
I'll bet that young lady won't want no artist for a husband 
after she's talked to me a while. I'll settle her matrimonial 
aspirations, all right. Give me that five- spot, an* the thing 
will be done in fine shape. 

Percy {handing him the five-dollar bill). I am sure you'll 
do it right, Mr. Roamer. 

Roam, {strutting about). Mr. Percy Heartache, please. 
There's my name, sir ! {Holds out envelope that is addressed 
to Percy.) I'm Percy Heartache, the artist, an* here's my 
paints an' brushes. Artist, eh? Well, I guess ! 

Susan {ceasing her churning). Come, Helen, help me take 
the churn in the kitchen. 

Hel. All right, mother. 

{Smiles at Percy and exits r., with her mother y carrying 

churn. ^ 

Percy. Now, my friend, 1*11 take a stroll around and leave 
you here. The chances are that the young lady will soon 
appear. If she does not, go and knock at the door and in- 



LOOK OUT FOR PAINT 21 

quire for her. I will be near at hand to see and hear the fun. 
If you carry it through right I'll give you another five. 

Roam. Gee ! You bet I'll do it right, boss. Another five, 
eh? Why, I certainly am in luck. \_Exti Percy, c. 

Enter Bill, carrying empty pail and blowiiig on harmonica. 

Bill. Hello ! You're ther man what's come over to paint 
the boat, ain't yer? {Looks at paifit cans.') 

Roam, {haughtily'). I am Percy Heartache, the artist. 

Bill {laughing loudly and wiping harmonica on sleeve and 
putting in pocket). You ain't ther painter, then ? 

Roam. No, I am the artist. Can you tell me where I can 
find Miss Hattie Renwick? 

Bill {ignoring the question and pointing to paint cans). 
Who does ther paint an' brushes belong to ? 

Roam. The painter, I suppose. He was here a little while 
ago. But see here, you thick- head ! Where is the young lady 
who wrote this letter to me ? 

Bill. Which one? There is two of 'em. So you're ther 
artist, eh ? Well, I took two letters to ther post-office that was 
addressed to Percy Heartache. I know I did, 'cause I kin 
read, an' I read 'em over a dozen times. One was from Helen 
an' ther other was from Daisy. 

Roam. Who is Daisy ? 

Bill. Hattie Renwick is her right name. But I call her 
Daisy — or Peach, 'cause she don't like Daisy so well. I tell 
yer, Mr. Artist ! she's a daisy an' a peach, too. But I didn't 
think no sech scarecrow as you was the one she wrote to. 

Roam, {angrily). What do you mean by calling me a scare- 
crow? Just because I have my working clothes on have I got 
to be insulted ? 

Bill {stepping back in a frightened way). Never mind, 
Mr. Artist. Don't hit me. I didn't mean nothin'. If you 
want me to call Miss Renwick I'll do it for you. 

Roam. All right. Do so. But don't let any one else in 
the house know that the artist is here. You fetch Miss Ren- 
wick out, an* when I get some change I'll give you a quarter. 

{Shows Bill the five- do liar bill Percy gave him.) 

Bill {starting for house). My! He's got money, all right. 
But blamed if I kin understand what Helen an' Daisy wrote 
letters to him for. Why, he looks like a regular tramp. 



22 LOOK OUT FOR PAINT 

Roam, {menacingly^. What's that? 

Bill. Nothin', Mr. Artist. I'll have the peach out here in 
a jiffy. 

{Exit Bill, r. Roam, sits on bench, crosses legs and re- 
moves hat. Brushes hair with his hand.^ 

Roam. Well, this is funny business, an' no mistake. What 
am I up against, anyhow ? But it's all right. I've got one 
five-spot, an' there is another one comin', if I do ther job right. 
You bet I'm ther one who kin do it, too. I ought to be an 
actor, instead of a tramp painter. {Starts.) Hello ! here 
comes the girl, I suppose. That thick-headed boy has found 
her, all right. Now to paralyze her. {Enter Bill and Hat., 
R. Roam, rises and bows. ^ How are you, sweetness? 

Hat. {in dismay). Who are you, sir ? 

Roam. Percy Heartache, the artist, at your service, my 
own love. 

Bill {laughing uproariously). That's who he is. Peach. 
Ain't he a reg'lar dude? 

Hat. {clasping her hands). Well, I never ! 

Bill. Neither did I, Peach. But here he is. You sent for 
him, he says, so it ain't none of my business. {To Roam., 
sotto voce.) Don't forgit that quarter when you git that bill 
changed. 

Roam, {striking an attitude). Avaunt ! Quit my sight, 
thou silly buffoon ! Leave me alone in the presence of my 
adored one. \_Exit Bill, l. 

Hat. Oh, oh, oh ! 

Roam, {dropping on knees before her). Fear not, fair one. 
You surely have not forgotten the words of love and devotion 
that have passed between us in correspondence. Listen ! I 
am not what I am ! Once I have cast aside my working clothes 
and appear in the costly raiment that fits so well my youthful 
form you would not know me. I am in disguise, ray darling 
Hattie ! Oh ! come to my arms, my loved one ! Who would 
have dreamed that such bliss could exist upon this mundane 
sphere? {Rises.) 

Hat. {stepping back and facing audience). Can it be that 
he has donned this disguise simply to try me ? It must be. I 
will listen to him, for he speaks as no other man has ever done 
to me. {To Roam.) My dear Mr. Heartache, though I am 
somewhat surprised to meet you in such attire, I will frankly 
say that I like your manner of speech. You have undoubtedly 



LOOK OUT FOR PAINT 23 

disguised yourself as a common laborer or tramp for the pur- 
pose of learning the true depths of my affection for you. It is 
all right, Percy. Proceed with your lovely words of conver- 
sation. 1 can see that you would really be a handsome young 
man if you donned your proper attire and — and — treated your- 
self to a bath. 

Roam, {aside). Great Scott ! This business ain't working 
the way I thought it would. The first thing I know I'll be in 
a breach of promise suit, sure. But maybe that would be a 
better suit than the one I am now wearing, so I'll see it through 
if I bust ! 

Enter Luc, ai\.. Sees Hat. and Roam., a7id steps back to 
watch and listen. Bill appears at c, and does the same. 

Hat. {smiling). Sit down on the bench, Mr. Heartache. 

Luc. {aside). Mr. Heartache ! Why, that must be the 
artist Helen is infatuated with. Well, what is the girl thinking 
about? Why, that fellow is nothing but a tramp. They say 
listeners never hear any good of themselves, but I am going to 
hear this through, or know the reason why. 

Roam, {sitting down). Well, what do you want me to do 
now? 

Hat. Talk like you did a little while ago. 

{Sits down beside him.^ 

Roam. An' call you darlin', an' all that ? 

Hat. Yes, please. 

Bill {hardly able to restrain himself y going through all sorts 
of motions). If this ain't a circus there never was one. 

Roam. Well, darlin', how have yer been since I saw you 
last ? 

Hat. Since you saw me last ? Why, you never saw me 
before. 

Roam. I mean how have you been since you heard from 
me last? 

Hat. Oh, fine. 

Roam. So have I. I am sorry I put on my working clothes, 
for I would like to give you a good hug. 

{Stretches out his arms as though to embrace her, but she 
gets up and out of his way.) 

Hat. No such liberties yet, Percy, 



24 LOOK OUT FOR PAINT 

Roam. Well, if I go back an' put on my good clothes will 
it be all right ? 

Hat. It might. But don't go yet. 

Roam, {looking at audience despairingly). All right, my 
love. 

Hat. There ! That sounds real nice. 

Roam. What does ? 

Hat. What you just said. 

Roam. Does it, darling ? 

Hat. Oh, my ! I really wish you had not worn your work- 
ing clothes, Percy. 

Roam, (^looking at his overalls and shaking his head). 
Well, what was 1 going to do ? I can take these off, though. 

{Jumps tip and hurriedly takes off overalls and tosses them 
alongside the paint cans near c. Hat. backs half-way to 
R. during the operation, holding up her hands. Luc. 
seems almost on the verge of fainting, while Bill stuffs a 
handkerchief in his jnouth to keep from exploding.) 

Hat. Oh ! you look much better already, Percy. 

Roam. Yes; I borrowed these trousers of my boss — I mean 
I loaned a good pair of trousers to a man 1 have working 
for me. 

Hat. Oh ! I see. 

Roam. Pm a reg'lar dude when I'm fixed up, dear. Shall 
I give you a good hug now ? 

Hat. Not yet, please. But say ! you must paint lovely 
pictures. 

Roam. I do, dearest. 

Hat. I should like to have you paint me some time. 

Roam. PU be pleased to. Who did the job for you to-day ? 

Hat. {sharply). What is that, sir? 

Roam. A bum artist did the job, Pm sure. Too much 
vermilion. 

Hat. What are you talking about ? 

Roam. I was thinking of a picture a rival of mine painted. 
I must have expressed my thoughts aloud. 

Hat. Oh ! is that it ? 

Roam. Yes, dearest. Now, if you'll only name the happy 
day I'll hurry back to my hotel and get togged out a little. I 
can be back in an hour. {Rises.) Shall I leave word at the 
preacher's and tell him we'll soon be there ? 



LOOK OUT FOR PAINT 2$ 

Hat. What are you talking about ? 

Roam. Getting married. I'm ready right now. 

Hat. I shall have to know more about you before I think 
of taking such a serious step as that. 

Roam. Didn't you advertise for a husband? 

Hat. Well, I — er — suppose I did. 

Roam, {striking an attitude). Well, here he is. If you 
want me for better or worse, just say the word. I'll surely die, 
though, if you say no. 

(^Edges toward c, to take a hasty departure.) 

Hat. {divining his intention). Hold on, Percy Heartache ! 
You cannot trifle with me this way. If you think you are 
having a joke with me, I tell you plainly that you have gone 
too far. You have proposed to me, and I shall hold you to it. 
My answer to your proposal is that I must have a short time to 
think. 

Roam, (starting toward overalls and paint cans). I guess 
I had better get away from here. 

Hat. {spri?iging forward and catching with both hands). 
You proposed to me, and you shall not go until I have given 
my answer. 

Roam. Let go, girl. This is only a joke. 

Luc. {rushing toward him, brandishing parasol). Joke, 
eh ? Well, I will appear as a witness against you. You are a 
rascal to trifle with a poor girl like that. I heard all your con- 
versation, sir. 

Bill {appearing). Me, too ! Don't marry that man, 
Peach. He ain't nothin' more than a tramp. 

(Roam, succeeds in freeing himself , and runs off Q., leaving 
paint cans and overalls behind. Luc. and Bill run after 
them.) 



QUICK CURTAIN 



ACT III 

SCENE.— £a7£fn of the " High Up Faring Same as Act II, 
save that the table is spread for " Tea^ 

Enter Percy. Looks about searchingly. 

Percy. I am too late, I see. I guess, by the shouting, and 
the loud talk I heard, something must have happened. They 
must have chased the tramp. Well, I wonder how Miss Ren- 
wick liked the artist she was so anxious to meet? I hope she 
won't show up while I am here. If she does it might be a lit- 
tle awkward. But I have it ! I'll let Helen introduce me as 
Mr. Roamer, if she does come. I have as much right to take 
the tramp's name as he had to take mine. That will be all 
right. I'll speak to Helen about it right away. {Looks at 
paint cans and overalls.) 1 may as well put these things out 
of sight. Perhaps Trotwell Roamer will come back and get 
them later. {Picks up paint cans and overalls and starts to c.) 

Enter Hiram and Hickory Homespun, l. 

Hiram. Well, Hick, if you make up your mind to take that 
cow you can have her for forty dollars. She's dirt cheap at 

that, an' I wouldn't think of selling her if Hello ! {Sees 

Percy standing near c. , with paint cans and overalls in his 
hands.) So you've got here, have you? 

Percy. Why — er — yes. You are Mr. Rodney, Helen's 
father, are you not ? 

Hiram. That's right. Have you seen her yet? 

{Means the boat that is to be painted.) 

Percy. Yes, sir, I have seen her. 

Hiram {thinking Percy is surely the painter se?it over by 
Jim Styles to paint the boat). Well, what do you think of 
her? Are you going to start in to-day ? It seems a little late. 
But maybe you've just brought over your paint, so you can 
start in the first thing in the morning. 

Percy {looking at what he has in his hands, and very much 
confused). Why, I — er 

Hiram. That's all right. To-morrer mornin' will do. I 

26 I 



LOOK OUT FOR PAINT 27 

guess she can wait till that time. But say, young feller, you 
must go easy when you tip her over, 'cause her stays might 
break. They're pretty old, and I don't want to put no more 
expense on her than I kin help. 

Percy {aside). Heavens ! What is the man driving at? 
He must be crazy ! To speak of his own daughter in this 
way ! What does it mean ? 

{Backs toward r., still holding cans and overalls.") 

Hiram. Where are you goin' ? Come on over to the lake, 
and we'll look her over together. {Turns to Hick.) You 
come, too. Hick. 

Hick. Certain I will, Hiram. 

Percy {much confused). I — er — think there must be some 
mistake. 

Hiram. Mistake, eh? Well, I guess not. You was sent 
for, wasn't you? 

Percy. Yes, but 

Hiram. Maybe you don't like the looks of her. 

Percy. Oh, yes, I do, Mr. Rodney. She is the nicest— — 

Hick, {laughing heartily). He ain't much of a judge, is 
he, Hiram ? 

Hiram. Well, I don't know. He looks as though he ought 
to know a good model from a bad one. But say. {Nods to 
Percy.) If you feel like it, and think it ain't too late, you 
might start in to scrapin' the paint off her sides right now. 
You'll find she's pretty well roughed up ; but you can fix that 
all right. You'll have to go a bit careful when you come to 
the waist. She's been layin' on one side so long that I s'pose 
the sun has done some damage. Most likely she's blistered a 
little. 

Percy. Blistered ! 

Hick. Blistered, of course. There ain't nothing strange 
about that, is there ? 

Hiram. Jim Styles told you it was to be white outside and 
yaller inside, didn't he ? 

Percy {stepping back and turning to audience). Ah ! 
Now I know there is a mistake. He does not refer to his 
daughter at all. {To Hiram.) Pardon me, Mr. Rodney, but 
to whom or whrit are you referring ? 

Hiram {turning to Hick, and showing surprise). Well, 
what do you think of that, Hick? 

Hick. Must be a born fool. 



28 LOOK OUT FOR PAINT 

Hiram. He don't know what he was sent over here for, it 
seems. 

Hick. Seems not. {Nods head gravely.) He don't look 
like a painter, anyhow, Hiram. 

Hiram. But he's got everything with him to do the job. 

Percy. I did not come here to do any work. These things 
{setting them down near c.) belong to another party. I just 
picked them up to set them aside as you came here. I am 
not a painter, but an artist. 

Hick. Well, I swan ! 

Hiram {showing surprise). So you didn't come here to 
paint our boat, then ? 

Percy {much relieved). I certainly did not, sir. 

Hiram. What did you come here for ? 

Percy. I came at the invitation of your daughter Helen. 

Hiram. Jumpin' bullfrogs ! What do you think of that, 
Hick? 

Hick. Sort of a misunderstandin', it seems. {He laughs.) 
He thought you was speakin' of Helen, and you was meanin' 
the old boat all the time. {Laughs uproariously.) Oh, dear ! 
What a joke. 

Percy. Well, I am very sorry that such a mistake should 
be made. But I can easily understand now. It is rather un- 
fortunate, but no harm has been done. 

Hiram. Not as I knows of, young fellow. So Helen in- 
vited you to come over, did she ? 

Percy. Yes, she did. 

Hiram. Well, I reckon I had better call her out, then. 
{Calls /^ R.) Helen ! Helen ! 

Hel. {unseen by audie?ice). What is it, father? 

Hiram. You're wanted here right away. 

Enter Hel., r. Percy hurries to meet her. 

Percy {sotto voce). Introduce me as Mr. Roamer. The 
Peach might come back and spoil things, you know. 

Hel. {sotto voce). All right, Percy, I understand. {Then 
to Hiram.) Well, father? 

Hiram. This young man came over to see you, he says. 

Hel. Yes, I know. Let me introduce you to him, father. 
{Turns to Percy.) Mr. Roamer, this is my father. (Percy 
and Hiram shake hands. Hel. to Hick.) Mr. Homespun, 
let me make you acquainted with Mr. Roamer, the painter — 
{becoming confused) or artist, which? {Looks at Percy.) 



LOOK OUT FOR PAINT 29 

Fercy (^/aug/iing/y). Which, I guess. (Shakes wi^h Hick.) 

Hick. What do you think, Helen ? Your father was talkin' 
about havin' his boat scraped an* painted, an' this young man 
thought he was meanin' you all the time. Funny mistake, 
wasn't it? {Laughs heartily.) 

Hel. I should say it was a funny mistake, Hick. How- 
did it happen, father ? 

Hiram. Well, I was expectin' a painter to come over to 
paint the boat white outside and yaller inside, an' when I seen 
this young man standin' here with them things (^pointing to 
cans and overalls) in his hands, I thought he was the man. I 
didn't know he had come over on an invite from you. But 
{looking at the table) what's goin' on, anyhow? What have 
you got the table set outside for ? 

Hel. Oh ! we are going to have a little party. Mother 
thought it would be a good idea to have some company over, 
so the new boarder wouldn't be lonesome. {Turns to Hick.) 
The widow is here, too, Hick. 

Hick, {looking around in a startled way). Where is she, 
Helen ? 

Hel. {laughing). Around somewhere. We are going to 
have a very nice time, I am sure. 

Hick, {edging toward c). I'm goin' home. 

Hiram {catching him by the arm). No, you don't, Hick ! 
You ain't afraid of the widder any more than I am. You are 
goin' to stay right here an' have tea with us. Besides, I want 
to sell you that cow before you go home. 

Hick. Well, I'll take her, Hiram. 

Hel. {laughing). The widow. Hick? 

Hick, {excitedly). No ! The cow, I mean. I'll be over 
after her in the mornin'. 

{Tries to go again y but is restrained by Hiram.) 

Hiram. Now, see here. Hick Homespun. The trouble 
with you is that you're a lot too bashful. You know well 
enough that you ought to have somebody around that nice little 
home of yours to cook your meals an' fetch your slippers for 
you nights when you come in after doin' a hard day's work. 
There's the Widder Wheatchaff for you, Hick ! She's a fine 
little woman, an' I happen to know that she thinks a powerful 
lot of you, too. 

Hick, {becoming interested). How do you know that? 

Hiram. Well, I reckon I've got eyes an' ears. {Slaps 



30 LOOF OUT FOR PAINT 

Hick, on the back.') Come ! brace up, old feller. You wasn't 
born to die an old bachelor. 

(Percy and Hel. are conversing in ivhispers and getting 
along nicely.) 

Hick, {meditating for a momefit ). Well, I'll take her. 
I'll be over after her in the mornin*. 

Hiram. Good enough ! I'll tell her just as soon as she 
comes out. 

Hick, {protestingly). No, no ! I mean the cow. 

Hel. Tell the cow, then, father. 

{All laugh but Hick.) 

Enter Bill, c, mopping face with bandana. 

Bill. Whew ! If that wasn't a run ! I never had so much 
fun in my life ! Can't that city gal run, though ! Why, she 
went through the corn-field like a two-year-old heifer on the 
rampage ! That artist wasn't no match for her at all. But he 
might have got away if he hadn't stumbled an' hit his head 
agin a pile of fence rails. She's got him ! Lucinda is helpin' 
her bring him back. There's goin' to be a breach of promise 
suit. Wow ! 

{Does a tumbling act, or anything comical or ridiculous ^ 
laughing uproariously.) 

Hiram {surprised a?id angered). What in thunderation is 
the matter with the boy ? 

Hick. Acts as though he's been took with a fit. 

Hel. {taking Hiram by the sleeve). I think I know what is 
the matter, father. It seems that our boarder made an ap- 
pointment with some man she had never seen in her life, 
though she had corresponded with him, of course. He pro- 
posed to her, and when he found she was willing to consider 
it he changed his mind and tried to get away. She gave 
pursuit, and Bill and Lucinda, who happened to be here, 
helped her catch him. Miss Renwick is anxious to marry 
some one, and after corresponding with the man she set her 
cap for him before she had even seen him. Mother and I 
came out on the porch in time to hear the last of it. Don't 
interfere, father. Let them bring the man here. I am sure 
you will laugh when you understand what a joke it is. i 



LOOK OUT FOR PAINT 3 1 

Hiram (/ooking a^ Kick.). Well, I swan ! 

Hick. So do I, Hiram. 

Bill (^getting upon his feet). Me, too ! 

Percy {whispering in Hiram's ear). You understand, Mr. 
Rodney. 

Hiram. Well, I'll be gum-swizzled ! If that don't beat all. 

Hick, {looking toward c). Here they come now. {Edges 
away.) I guess I'll be goin'. I'll be over after her in the 
raornin', Hiram. 

Hiram (catching him). No, you won't, Hick. You kin 
take her home to-night. 

Hick. You'll have to lend me a rope, then. 

Hiram {laughing). Oh, you won't need no rope — not for 
the widder. 

Bill. Might need one to hang himself with after he gits her. 

{Laughs boisterously and executes funny business.) 

Percy {to Hel.). A sort of roping-in game, I think. 
Hel. It surely is. 

Enter Susan, r. Excited voices outside at c. 

Susan. What's going on here ? What does all this excite- 
ment mean, anyhow ? 

Hel. {running to Susan). Mother, the joke is not over 
with yet. It seems that Miss Renwick took it seriously, and 
she has caught the tramp. She is fetching him here, and 
Lucinda is helping her. Bill says it is a case of a breach of 
promise suit. 

Susan. Well, I never 1 That girl must be a fool. 

Hel. She wants a man, mother. 

Susan {shaking her head). Well, she must want one pretty 
bad, then. 

Hel. Now remember, mother, Percy is supposed to be 
Mr. Roamer. 

Susan. And the tramp is supposed to be Mr. Heartache? 

Hel. Of course. He introduced himself that way, so it 
will remain so until Miss Renwick gets enough of it. 

(Hiram and Bill are holding Hick, so he cannot escape. 
Percy looks on smilingly. Loud voices outside, Roam. 
calling out excitedly : * ' Stop / Stop I I want to get 
away from here I") 



32 LOOK OUT FOR PAINT 

Percy (run?itng to c). What does this mean ? 
Enter Hat. and Luc, c, dragging Roam, with them. 

Luc. The base deceiver ! 

Hat. (^letting go of Roam, and 7vringing her hands ex- 
citedly). Oh! Oh! 

Hiram. That must be the man Styles sent over to paint the 
boat. 

Roam, (eagerly). I'm the man, boss. Just get me away 
from these women and I'll go right to work. 

Luc. (^letting go her hold upon Roam., and looking sur- 
prised). But he proposed to Miss Renwick, Hiram. 

Roam. That was a joke. (Looks at Percy, who shakes 
finger warningly.) I found a letter she had written to some 
one, and I made out I was the man. I'm only a common 
tramp painter. She don't want me for a husband, unless she 
feels like earning the livin*. 

Hat. {throwing up her hands and staggering about as 
though she is going to fall). Oh ! I shall faint — I know I 
will. Somebody catch me — quick ! 

Hick, (starting forward to catch her). Don't fall, miss. 

Luc. (grabbifig Hick, by the collar and pu Hi fig him back). 
Let her fall, if she wants to. The first thing you know she will 
be trying to make you propose to her. 

Hick, (meekly). All right, Lucinda. 

Hat. (making another stagger about). Oh ! Oh ! I know 
I shall faint. 

(She falls and Bill catches her and carries her to a bench.) 

Bill (soothingly). That's all right, Peach. I'll marry you 
when I git big enough. You don't want no lazy tramp for a 
husband. 

Hat. (rousing up and becoming indignant). The idea ! 
Who said I wanted to marry any one? Why, I wouldn't 
marry the best man living ! 

Luc. (to Hick., whom she is still holding). Good reason, 
maybe. She couldn't get you, Hick, and I think you are the 
best man living. 

Hick, (grinning). Do you mean that, Lucinda ? 

Luc. T always say what I mean, Hick Homespun. 

Hick. Let's go look at that cow. 

\_Exeitnt Hick, and Luc, L. 



LOOK OUT FOR PAINT 33 

Bill {roaring with laughter^. She's got him. Hick is a 
goner ! 

Hat. {to Susan). Mrs, Rodney, I think I will go to my 
room. 

Susan {persuasively^. Don't do that, Miss Ren wick. If 
there has been a joke played, take it good-naturedly. 

Hat. How can I? {Looks around despairingly?) 

Hel. Let me introduce you to Mr. Roamer, Miss Renwick. 

Hat. {bowing stiffly). Pleased to meet him. 

Bill {coming to Susan). Is supper ready yet, Missus 
Rodney ? 

Susan. Not yet, Bill. 

Bill. S'pose we have a little dance, then? {Produces har- 
motiica and clappers.) Take your partners for a quadrille, 
and look out for paint ! 

{Strikes up a lively air — or if he cannot play ^ the orchestra 
does it for him.) 

Enter Hick, and Luc. , l. Both are smiling and look happy. 

Hiram {seizing Susan). Come on, old gal ! We'll have 
a little square set right here on the lawn. 

( They take heads for the set. Percy a?id Hel. take posi- 
tions opposite them, and then Luc pulls Hick, over and 
they take one of the sides.) 

Roam, {as Percy points to Hat.). I suppose we may as 
well make up the set. Miss Renwick. 

(Hat. permits herself to be led by him to the opposite side. 
Then Bill lets himself go and the dance begins.) 

Bill. Salute your partners. 

(Bill calls more figures and then Roam, breaks away stid- 
denly and runs off c. Luc. holds tightly to Hick. Bill 
backs against table and overturns it. Crash l) 



CURTAIN 



By the Author of '^Mv. Bob" 



THE NEW CRUSADE 

A Comedy in Two Acts 
By Rachel Baker Gale 
Twelve females. Costumes, modern ; scenery, two interiors. Plays one 
hour and thirty minutes. A very amusing satire of the servant girl ques- 
tion, brimful of telling incidents and effective lines. All the parts are 
good and of nearly equal opportunity, and practically play themselves. 
Well rehearsed, it is a sure success and goes with a scream. Irish, negro 
and Swede character parts and a " tough " girl. Strongly recommended 
for ladies' clubs. Can be played only on payment of a royalty of $^.QO 
to the author. 

Price f 2^ cents 

CHARACTERS 

Miss Morris, nothing if not businesslike. 

Mrs. Cogswell-Brown, who believes in cooperative housekeeping* 
Mrs. Potter- Hewitt, who looks small, but is not, 
Mrs. Raymond, who advocates ''The New Crusaded 
Mrs. Archibald Tracey, in search of a maid and experience. 
Bridgett Mahoney, in search of'*an ould gintleman^ 
Mary Macguire, who likes ''the theyatre in the winter toime.** 
Augusta Olsen, who comes from "Svedenfor big monay.** 
Cassie Clay, who never "takes suggestions from anybody."* 
Jennie Burch, who never "has time for afternoon tea."" 
Matilda Johnson, who likes " slaughtermobiles and a choffer,"* 
Merry, the settlement girl— who" s always "on de level."" 

COATS AND PETTICOATS 

A Comedy in One Act 
By Rachel Baker Gale 
One male (played by a woman), seven females, and if desired, sixteen 
girls for chorus. Costumes, modern ; scene, an interior. Plays forty-five 
minutes. A very lively and amusing piece introducing fancy dresses, 
music and dancing. All the parts of about equal opportunity. Irish 
comedy part and two capital " old maids." Very funny and not difficult. 
Complete with music for the Suffragettes' song and march and the Old 
Maids' song and march. Very strongly recommended. 

Price, 2^ cents 

AN EASY MARK 

A Farce in One Act 

By Innis Gardner Osborn 
Five males, two females. Costumes, modem ; scene, an easy interior. 
Plays thirty-five minutes. A side-splitting farce of college life lively enough 
to suit the most exacting demands. Full of funny incident and telling 
lines. Burlesque actor and " tough " young man parts ; the rest " straight" 
and all good. Recommended for schools. Price^ t^ cents. 



New Plays 



ELMWOOD FOLKS 

A Drama in Three Acts 

By Charles S, Bird 

Author of **At the Junction,'' etc. 

Eight males, four females. Costumes, modern ; scenery, two interiors^ 

©ne exterior. Plays a full evening. An easy and very actable piece with 

an unusually even cast of characters. Clean, wholesome and ent€rtain< 

ing ; can be recommended for school performance. 

Price, 2^ cents 

CHARACTERS 
David Bainbridge, editor of the Elmwood **Item.*^ 
James Wentworth, an old compositor. 
Squire Alford, a hard man. 
Dick Alford, his stepson, a young lawyer. 
Whittier Jones, a contributor to the " Item," 
Tommy Gay, David's apprentice. 
Mr. Pinch, an officer. 
A Messenger Boy. 
Mrs. Bainbridge, David's wife. 
Bessie Bainbridge, their daughter. 
Drucilla Jones, Whittier s aunt. 
Mary Gay, Mrs. Bainbridge s maid. Tommy s stster» 

SYNOPSIS 

Act I. — Office of the Elmwood Item. 

Act II. — Lawn beside the Bainbridge home. 

Act III. — Parlor in the same. 

HER UNCLE'S BOOTS 

A Farce in One Act 

By Mrs. Myrtle Barber Carpenter 

Seven females. Costumes, modern ; scene, an easy interior. Plays 
thirty minutes. An easy and effective little play suitable for Girls* 
Schools or young people in amateur theatricals. Very funny, but with a 
sympathetic thread of interest. Clean and bright. Recommended. 

Price, 15 cents 

AN OUTSIDER 

A College Play for Girls in One Act 
By Wilhemen Wilkes 

Seven females. Costumes, modern ; scenery, an interior. Plays 
thirty-five minutes. An unusually strong and sympathetic little play for 
its length and pretensions, strongly recommended to schools. The story 
turns upon a basket-ball match and is full of interest. 

Price J 7J cents ^ 



New Plays 



THE SISTERHOOD OF BRIDGET 

A Farce in Three Acts 

By Robert Elwin Ford 

Seven males, six females. Costumes modern ; scenery, easy interiors. 
Flays two hours. An easy, effective and very humorous piece turning 
upon the always interesting servant-girl question. A very unusual num- 
ber of comedy parts; all the parts good. Easy to get up and well rec' 
ommended. 

Price, 2^ cents 

CHARACTERS 

Edward Mason,/? wealthy stock- Mrs. Mason, socialist and as^ 

broker. thete. 

Lord Curton, in search of a Eleanor Mason, her daugh- 

wife with money. ter. 

Ward Leighton, lieutenant of Bridget, the cook* 

the lydth Regiment. Josie Riley, | , . . 

MikeMcShane, driver of a milk- Emma Hone, j ^^^^^^'^^^^^ 

cart. Mary Macrae, Jimmfs sister* 

Jimmy Macrae, page at Mr. Timothy Rouke, house painter* 

Mason's. William, butler at Mr. Maso»\ 

THE ALL-AMERICA ELEVEN 

By M. N. Beebe 

Twelve males. Costumes modern ; scenery unnecessary. Plays fifteen 
minutes. An up-to-date and popular entertainment for boys in one scene, 
sure to please both the boys and the audience. Characters : Football Boy, 
Baseball Boy, Tennis Boy, Office Boy, Messenger Boy, Country Boy, 
Chinese Boy, Jewish Boy, Irish Boy, Indian Boy, Negro Boy and Trainer. 

Price, 75 cents 

TAKING THE THIRD DEGREE 
IN THE GRANGE 

By A. C. Daniels 

Seventeen males. Costumes eccentric ; scenery unnecessary. Plays ten 
minutes. A burlesque initiation in one act, especially adapted for a Grange 
entertainment. Very simple, very clean and wholly lacking in horse-play 
and acrobatics. Well suited for its purpose. 

Price, IS c^nt*' 



New Entertainments 



OUR CHURCH FAIR 

A Farcical Entertainment in Two Acts 

By Jessie A> Keiley 

Twelve females. Costumes modern ; scenery unimportant. Plays a*^ 
hour and a quarter. A humorous picture of the planning of the annua! 
church fair by the ladies of the sewing circle. Full of local hits and 
general human nature, and a sure laugh-producer in any communityc 
Can be recommended. 

Pricey 2^ cents 

CHARACTERS 

Mrs. Roberts, who wants to be Mrs. Lawson, plump, 

presidsrt. Mrs. Brown, anxious to get new 

Mrs. Henry, youngs g^^^y* church attendants, 

fond of novels. Mrs. Addison, very inquisitive. 

Mrs. Jackson, the president of Mrs. Ridgely, sensitive, 

the society, Mrs. Otis, on the dinner com^ 

Mrs. Brett, on the dinner com- mittee, 

mittee, Mrs, THou^soi^y decidedly clcse^ 

Mrs. Lewis, the minister's wife, Mrs. DreWj^^j/ married^ 

THE RIVAL CHOIRS 

An Entertainment in One Scene 

By Sherman F, Johnson 

Seven males, four females. Costumes eccentric ; scenery unimportant. 
Plays one hour, A novelty in musical entertainments, introducing the 
old choir and the new in competition. A novel setting for a concert, 
offering an interesting contrast between the old music and the new. Lots 
of incidental fun, character and human nature. Sure to please. Origi- 
nally produced in Meriden, Conn. 

Price, 55 cents 

A THIEF IN THE HOUSE 

A Comedy in One Act 

By R. M, Robinson 

Six males, one playing a female character (colored). Costumes modern 
scenery, an interior. Plays forty-five minutes. A first-class play formaU 
characters only, of strong dramatic interest with plenty of comedy. A play 
that can be recommended, in spite of its lack of female characters, to any 
mdience. 

Price^ 2^ cents 1 



New Plays 



THE TIME OF HIS LIFE 
A Comedy in Three Acts 

By C, Leona Dalrympk 
Six males, three females. Costumes modern ; scenery, two interiors, 
or can be played in one. Plays two hours and a half. A side-splitting 
piece, full of action and a sure success if competently acted. Tom Car- 
ter's little joke of impersonating the colored butler has unexpected con- 
sequences that give him "the time of his life." Very highly reconi 
mended for High School performance. 

Price y 23 cents 

CHARACTERS 
Mr. Bob Grey. 
Mrs. Bob Grey. 

Tom Carter, Mrs, Grey^s brother, 
Mrs. Peter Wycombe, a " personage.*^ 
Mr. Peter Wycombe, a " pessimist " with a dtgestim^ 
Dorothy Landon, secretly engaged to Tom Carter, 
Mr. James Landon, Sr., Dorothy^ s father ; of a peppery dts^sifim^ 
Uncle Tom, an old colored butler from the South. 
Officer Hogan, of the Twenty- Second Street Police StatMn- 

EETHER OR EYTHER 

A Farce in One Act 

By Robert C. F. Meyers 

Four males, four females. Costumes modern ; scene, an interior. Pl»»» 
thirty minutes. A clever parlor play, similar in idea to the popular " Ol^ 
^inate Family.** Sure to please. 

Price y 75" cents 

THE MORNING AFTER THE PLAY 

A Comedy in One Act 
By Willis Steell 

Two males, three females. Costumes modern; scene, an interior. 
Plays twenty minutes. An easy piece of strong dramatic interest, orig« 
inally produced in Vaudeville by Christy Clifford. Free to amateiirs;; 
royalty required for professional performance. 

Price f i^ cents 



OCT 19 1912 



New Entertai nments 



TAKING THE CENSUS IN BINGVILLE 

An Entertainment hi One Act 

Bjy Jessie A. Kelly 
Fourteen males, eight females. Costumes, modern ; scenery, unim- 
portant. Plays an hour and a half. One of the always popular go-as-you- 
please entertainments ; just a lot of laughs strung on a very slender wire 
of story. Full of eccentric character bits and chances for local hits. A 
sure success for the laughter-loving. Recommended for church societies 
or intimate communities. 

Price, 2^ cents 

CHARACTERS 



Census Taker. 

Rosy Grady, a7i Irish maid. 

Patrick Malone, a police7?iaii 

who did7i t want to be exa?n- 

ined. 
Bill Watt, not so bright, but 

still gets ahead of the?ri all. 
Mr. Harder, chauffeur. 
Mr. Knott, aeronaut. 
Mr. Stone, farnur who has 

rheumatiz. 

a much m,arried 



Mr. Single, an editor. 

]\Ir. Jepson, a grocer-postmas- 
ter. 

Mrs. Sampson, who has a large 
faynily. 

Mr. More, an undertaker. 

Mrs. Murphy, who is proud of 
her name. 

Miss Hartley, a teacher. 

Mr. Sharp, a lawyer who is 
looking for clients. 

Tony, a fruit dealer. 

Mr. Elwood, a 77iinister. 

Mrs. Stone, a far7ners wife 
who is afraid she has hook- 

W 07171. 

Susie Gibes, who is love-sick. 



Mrs. Jones, 

'W077ia7l. 

Mr. Saloon, a barber who is 

"Henglish.'' 
Dr. Duncan, 
MRf TiBBETS, who tries to be 

young. 

THE DAY OF THE DUCHESS 

A Farce in One Act 

By Alice C. Tho77tpson 
Tvj^elve females. Costumes, modern; scenery, an easy interior. Plays 
thirty minutes. A clever and amusing little play for all girls, particularly 
suited for schools because of its number of small parts. Requires only 
three or four prominent people. Recommended. 

Price, /J 6ents 

AN IRISH INVASION 

A Comedy in One Act 
By Alice C. Tho7npson 
Eight females. Costumes, modern ; scenerj', an easy interior. Plays 
thirty minutes. A very pretty and touching little play with plenty of fun 
introducing refined Irish characters, old country and new. A most 
original and effective idea, and sure to please. Nothing coarse and rough 
about it ; tone high and well suited for schools. 

Price, I ^ cents 



B. liJ. Pinero's Plays 

Price, 50 Kents €acb 

Min TH ANNFT ^^'^^ ^° -^°^'* ^^*^- ^^-"^ males, five females. 
l"i*-'"V/ni\,llliEiLi Costumes, modern; scenery, three interiors. 
Plays two and a half hours. 

THE NOTORIOUS MRS. EBBSMITH 2Sf " '^^Tt 

males, five females. Costumes, modern; scenery, all interiors. 
Plays a full evening. 

THF PROFTTPATF Playin Four Acts. Seven males, five 
***Ei r l\,v/rLiI\jr\i £i females. Scenery, three interiors, rather 
elaborate ; costumes, modern. Plays a full evening. 

THF QPHnni MIQTRFQQ Farce in Three Acts. Nine males, 
IO£i OV/IlV^WLilTilOilVEiiJiJ seven females. Costumes, mod- 
em; scenery, three interiors. Plays a full evening. 

THE SECOND MRS. TANQUERAY ^nrlZ^X'i 

females. Costumes, modern; scenery, three interiors. Plays a 
full evening. 

^WFFT f AVFNHFR Comedyin Three Acts. Seven males, 
OTiLiCil LlTx Y £ilily£iA, four females. Scene, a single interior, 
costumes, modem. Plays a full evening. 

THF THTTNnFRRniT Comedy in Four Acts. Ten males, 
* lll-i 1 nU 11 LfHixDv/Li 1 nine females. Scenery, three interi- 
ors; costumes, modern. Plays a full evening. 

THF TTIVIF^ Comedy in Four Acts. Six males, seven females. 
***Li 1 11t1£iO Scene, a single interior ; costumes, modern. Plays 
SI fuH evening. 

THF WFAITFR ^FY Cpmedyin Three Acts. Eight males. 
1 ri£i TV £ti\IvCiA. OJLA eight females. Costumes, modern ; 
scenery, two interiors. Plays a full evening. 

A WIFE WITHOUT A SMILE ^^e^.iS,i'^?4S. 

Costumes, modern ; scene, a single interior. Plays a full evening. 



Sent prepaid on receipt of price by 

l^alter ^. ^aktv S: Companp 

No. S Hamilton Place, Boston, Massachusetts 



LIBRf)RY OF CONGRES 




cult, clii<^-fly interiors : 
Price, 50 Cents. 



costumes, modern. Plays a full evening. 



THE FRUITS OF ENUCHTENMENT 



THE IMPORTANCE OF BEINQ EARNEST S 



Comedy in Four Acts. 

By L.Tolstoi. Twenty- 
one males, eleven females. Scenery, characteristic interiors ; cos- 
tumes, modern. Plays a full evening. Recommended for reading 
clubs. Price, 25 Cents. 

HIS EXCELLENCY THE GOVERNOR i^^JiTKlHAtf '%?J 

males, three females. Costumes, modern ; scenery, one interior. 
Acting rights reserved. Time, a full evening. Price, 50 Cents. 

MinPAT HIKRANH Comedy in Four Acts. By OscAK Wildk. 
WLtAl^ lllJJDAlMf Ninemales, six females. Costumes, mod- 
ern; scenery, three interiors. Plays a full evening. Acting rights 
reserved. Sold for reading. Price, 50 Cents. 

^arce in Three 
Acts. By Oscar 
Wilde. Five males, four females. Costumes, modern ; scenes, tAvo 
interiors and an exterior. Plays a full evening. Acting rights re- 
served. Price, 50 Cents. 

LADY WINDERMERE'S FAN ^r.?,^^ "slJS 1fSes,'l^i?l"te" 

males. Costumes, modern ; scenery, three interiors. Plays a full 
evening. Acting rights reserved. Price, 50 Cents. 

KTATHANHATP Play in Four Acts. By Clyde Fitch. Fifteen 
nAiliiiii uALL< males, four females. Costumes of the eighteenth 
century in America. Scenery, four interiors and two exteriors. Act- 
ing rights reserved. Plays a full evening. Price, 50 Cents. 

Comedy in Three Acts. ByM. B. Horke. 

Six males, four females. Scenery, two 
interiors ; costumes, modern. Professional stage rights reserved. 
Plays a full evening. Price, 50 Cents. 

Comedy in Four Acts. By C. H. 

Chambers. Four males, three fe- 
males. Scenery, an interior and an exterior ; costumes, modern. 
Acting rights reserved. Plays a full evening. Price, 50 Cents. 

A WOMAN OF NO IMPORTANCE gS^?r?JrE,^ft'^ai?i; 

seven females. Costumes, modern ; scenery, three interiors and an 
exterior. Plays a full evening. Stage rights reserved. Offered for 
reading only. Price, 50 Cents. 



Sent prepaid on receipt of price by 

5^alter i^. TSafeer & Company 

No. 5 Hamilton Place, Boston, Massachusetts 



THE OTHER FELLOW 



THE TYRANNY OF TEARS 



3^ecent popular ^^s 



THF AWAK'FNINfi -^^^^ "^ -^^"^ "^^*^- -^^ ^- ■^- chambers. 

ItlLi Att AiiLlllliU i-'our males, six females. Scenery, not diffi- 



S. J. PARKHILL &, CO., PRINTERS, BOSTON. 



